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 In love with Tarkan?

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Olya
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PostSubject: In love with Tarkan?   Mon Sep 08, 2008 1:45 am

Hi guys! I started this topic because recently I was going through some forums and I found familiar topics. Some girls would start the topic by saying "oh, I'm so in love with Tarkan! he is so...la la la". I want to say I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH TARKAN! but I was always questioning myself what is that??? how can anyone out there feel like it? Such things are really suspicious as for my view. I want to say that yes, I do like Wentworth Miller Smile he is some standard for my dream guy, but well, I can't love him, I don't know his habbits, his way of thinking, talking, his interests...all I know is what magazines tell me, and I can't trust it anyway...so, may be someone wants to share your opinion on this topic? scratch

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francygorkem
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PostSubject: Re: In love with Tarkan?   Mon Sep 08, 2008 3:56 am

I totally agree with you dear.. I love tarkan as well but only as a singer because i dont know him.. I think that the world LOVE is using too much in those time... i mean .. people should say " I like" that is more appropriate Very Happy
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PostSubject: Re: In love with Tarkan?   Mon Sep 08, 2008 4:14 am

love is oftentimes misused. i agree with francy.. like is more appropriate. as are admire, respect...etc..i love pepsi but i'm not obsessed with it. i love my friends but i don't follow them everywhere... love is a hard thing to define..
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PostSubject: Re: In love with Tarkan?   Mon Sep 08, 2008 9:04 am

Well Olya, I agree.

On one hand everyone has their own definition of love. So in one sense maybe the do love Tarkan. BUT like Empress said Tarkan is hiding behind that "artist" mask, and probably few only truly know him, so only they are granted to say those true words "I LOVE TARKAN"

Because of Tarkans Triple Threat, good looks, voice, and moves, and also his international popularity, it is easy for someone unstable to fall victim and become obsessed. THen there they start creating and fantasizing, making theirself believe there is a connection and love.

I dont want to state anything as if im a psychologist, but I think it is a physcological issue. And if not treated can become quite bad, even creating suicidal thoughts in hopes of a future with Tarkan.

I sympathize for those people, because in an ugly world such as ours it is easy to get lost and believe in such a beautiful dream.

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PostSubject: Re: In love with Tarkan?   Mon Sep 08, 2008 2:42 pm

Because of Tarkans Triple Threat, good looks, voice, and moves, and also his international popularity, it is easy for someone unstable to fall victim and become obsessed. THen there they start creating and fantasizing, making theirself believe there is a connection and love.

I dont want to state anything as if im a psychologist, but I think it is a physcological issue. And if not treated can become quite bad, even creating suicidal thoughts in hopes of a future with Tarkan.

and there it is, the truth from the people that "love" him the most. you are wise to believe this and strong to state it so clearly. it is true, we love him in a sense but it is the mask we love; the "triple threat" as nicole so aptly put it. so i'll put my church on hold
Laughing lest it cause more problems.. i'll just act like i'm the pope of the tarkan church.. lol!
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Inge
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PostSubject: Re: In love with Tarkan?   Thu Jan 29, 2009 7:32 am

I used to be in love with Tarkan and be all obsessed. It's not a nice feeling. I felt trapped in some irrational behaviour and thought pattern which I could not stop.
Fortunately (this happened between 1995 and 1997) Tarkan himself helped me. He had a long talk with me, and told me we would not have a relationship and he encouraged me to get over him, help myself and find someone else. So this enabled me to fall in love with other men and finally get happily married. As a result, I am very greatful to tarkan and will always support him.
Also, I want to help other fans who get stuck inside a love infatuation and obsession.

How do you know when you are in love with Tarkan?

1. You believe he is the perfect man in all aspects, and
that no other man will ever be as good as he

2. You want to be with him and kiss him and have sex with him
(but if you do meet him you are unable to do much, because of stress)

3. You have sexual fantasies about him

4. When having sex with other men, in your imagination you are having sex with Tarkan

5. You feel that you have to make Tarkan understand he is the right person for you and you are the right person for him and so you write him long letters or develop other ways to communicate with him (even imaginary conversations)

6. You are ready to sacrifice your life in order to have a relationship with him

7. You have mood swings: constantly between extreme happiness when you see Tarkans face or hear his voice, and extreme depression and sadness when you realise there is no real relaionship going on

8. You have trouble concentrating on other things than Tarkan (songs, videos etc)

9. People are telling you to stop talking about Tarkan. Your friends say they worry about you.

10. Physical reactions: the thought or sight of Tarkan can make you blush, go pale, send shivers down your spine, accelerate your heart beat, create sexual arousal, make your palms sweat, make your hands go cold, block your appetite for food, or make you feel otherwise uneasy.

If you feel you are in love with Tarkan, or obsessed with him, please do find help within your friends circle or with a psychologist. Obsessions are like addictions and they can be treated just like that. It is possible to bring an obsession to an end.

A good self help book is by Susan Forward: Obsessive Love (1991).
It can help you see the pattern and break behaviour patterns which are self-destructive...

Actually I don't like it when there are people saying: those who are in love with Tarkan are vulnerable, or psychologically unstable, or are living in a fantasy world.
It is not nice to hear such things when you already feel bad about yourself.
We as fans should support and help each other.
There is absolutely nothing embarrassing about falling in love with Tarkan.
He is a loveable man. The only thing is, it is painful and it should stop.

I am an intelligent woman and so I know, this is not someting only for stupid people.
It can happen to anyone who gets enchanted and who is not completely rational in love, which, to be honest, nobody should be. Come on, it's love, it should be a bit irrational...but not too much hey???

Inge
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PostSubject: Re: In love with Tarkan?   Thu Jan 29, 2009 7:40 am

You said it Inge! I had a big problem when I was younger of getting obsessed with men who were unavailable. It took some therapy to get through that. I was looking for someone to fix what I felt was wrong with me. But no one else can fix you. Only you can fix you.

I think that a lot of people feel a connection with their favorite artists. It is easy to feel that with the excessive amount of information we get nowadays through magazines, papers, the internet, tv that you "know" who they are. That connection is one reason art touches us as humans. It is easy though to get too involved in it and forget that it is a one sided connection. No star is truly the person they portray themselves to be in public. They have a private side that a fan never has access to. It is easy for people to get caught up in it and to lose sight of the rational side of things. It has happened to many intelligent people and probably will continue to happen as life gets more connected with the web.

I love Tarkans music. I think he is a great musician, a great performer and a hottie. But I do not know him, so I cannot love him as an individual. I can love the persona that is Tarkan but not him. Does that make sense?

Dawn
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Inge
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PostSubject: Re: In love with Tarkan?   Thu Jan 29, 2009 8:05 am

Yes I agree with you very much Dawn.
There usually is a sense of need for completion which you feel this person can fulfill.

I don't know if I really misjudged Tarkan or fell for his "image". he accused me of that and said I was only in love with his eyes, and that his interviews meant nothing.
But until today as I got to know him better, I never saw anything which contradicted my initial feelings about him, and what kind of person he is. Maybe I never got close enough.
But I do feel he actually is intelligent and friendly and sociable, and I like him.
Of course he makes mistakes like everyone else, and has a down side to his character.

However I feel I was really in love with him, only the feelings were not mutual, or he thought it was all too complicated. His words were: we live too far apart for a relationship, its not gonna work out.
I don't feel that I was in love with a fictional character which I created myself. Or with his mask or with his image.
He said so, but I am still willing to contradict him and argue with him about it. I believe this is a general assumption about fans and pop stars, and this actually also shapes his attitude towards his fans, in the sense that, he disbelieves their affection. He is doing himself injustice. Everyone has an "image" and tries to look good. Everyone has negative sides. Not just pop stars.

I believe we, the fans, after all these years, can really like him for who he is, especially if we watch him do the things he does. How many times can you see someone smile and act friendly and be considerate and sociable, and still say, this is just an image? At one moment, all these acts and words do add up to what a person really is. I can't believe a pop star can be one personality on stage and in public, and be the opposite in private. He could be a bit more shy and insecure, but the fact that he is thoughtful and considerate, he showed that so many times, including when he decided to talk with me and take me home. That was not any image speaking, that was him doing something for me.

So, I think if you have been following his actions and watching him interact with fans and other people, it would be pretty safe to say that you like him. Don't underestimate human's ability to judge characters on body language and all other clues. I've seen enough. He is a nice person.

love, Inge
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PostSubject: Re: In love with Tarkan?   Thu Jan 29, 2009 10:12 am

I am glad to hear that he is a nice person. I do appreciate the values that Tarkan cheers on in interviews and articles. I love that he is working for the environment, that he is encouraging folks to champion peace. I would like to think that he is as nice as he seems, but never having met him, I cannot say. I am glad that he has always treated his fans with respect. Some performers seem to forget who puts them where they are and he seems to always be aware of the power of his fans. That is good. I also like that he treats you with respect. Even when you went to him and discussed your feelings with him, he treated you respectfully and dealt with you honestly. I think that is very good. It shows he has manners and courtesy.

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PostSubject: Re: In love with Tarkan?   Thu Jan 29, 2009 11:41 am

Oh God.This is a delicate subject.
You know ...there are moments when I watch a video of him and I start criyng..or I don't know just watch an interview and fall into such a bad mood.After that I feel depresed for days...and I'm thinking that I'll NEVER see him...and that my dreams are sometimes painfull. Sad
I often find myself dreaming of him...thinking about how beautiful my life would be if I'll meet him one day. I'm shure I'm not the only girl who sees Bilge trought the green glass..I admit sometimes I envy her.

I'm obsessed with him. I wake up in the morning with him in my head,,during the night if I wake up (let's say) just to pull my pillow up (it's a stupid example...I know) or just to do anything else, one of his songs is ringing in my head. During the day at work...all I do is think about him...and be so anxious to go home and watch again and again and again his videos...and navigate on the internet and go to diferent sites and search for other videos with him and new pictures of him (and the list goes on).

I don't know if I can say that I am inlove with him. I have feelings for him. I see this person on TV...I see this man...this amazing human beeing , this person that cares fore others, this person that loves the animal that cares for this earth and who is trying to do something to chane this world and to make it a better place for all of us. I watch him and I'm creating myself an image of how do I think he is in the real life...but I can't say for shure that he is exactly like I've "pictured him in my head". So I can't say that I am inlove with him. But I know that I am obsessed with this person that I see on the screen. Maybe if I will meet him one day my feelings for him and my conception will change. Maybe I will see him diferent who knows...
_______________________________________________________________________

"It's not a nice feeling" (just like Inge sayd)...I hate it. It hurts ...having hin in my head 24/7.
I can't do the normal things that a girl my age would do, because I prefer to stay home and watch him and dream about him. If I go out all I want to talk about is Tark' and then ppl around me will start making funn of me and tell me to stop it.


...my english is not so good Sad hope you guys understand what I've wanted to say


Last edited by mjdiva on Tue Feb 10, 2009 1:16 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Inge
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PostSubject: Re: In love with Tarkan?   Thu Jan 29, 2009 2:47 pm

Hi MJdiva,

your English is fine and I understood you perfecly.
I think you have a problem.

Meeting Tarkan is not going to solve your problem, I believe. It never changed my feelings for him. Because Tarkan actually is a very nice person and when you meet him, you will not be disappointed. He is friendly to his fans, he looks fantastic, he even smells great. There is nothing about him that will cause your obsession to stop.

The only person who can make this change is you.
It is you who has made Tarkan so important.
Every hour you give to him, you are feeding your emotions and making it worse.
You must spend less time on Tarkan and find other things to spend your life with.
If some videos are very strong, then don't look at them.
If some songs make you cry, don't listen.

When Tarkan told me it would be better for me to stop, I realised that I was not just making myself unhappy. I was also making him unhappy. I thought he would feel proud if fans would love him so much. But he felt sad and not proud. He said he wanted to see me enjoy my life and his music and find someone else.

So to hlp myself, I put all my things in a box and did not look at it anymore.
Today is more difficult, I understand, because it is all on the computer and you get stuck on the internet surfing.

What if you do the following thing to help yourself?
Take some red stickers and place them on the letter combination T-A- R-K-N
When you type a word with only stickers, you know you are making a mistake...

I hope this will help.
This is something you can stop doing. You are a smart person and you can be strong.
This is an addiction, you kow it, and you are hurting only yourself.
Give yourself free time from tarkan, take a walk outside, go sporting, watch TV, read a book. An this ghost will stop haunting you, I promise.

You will probably always find him attractive but that is okay...
as long as you are not ruining your own life...

Good luck with it...
Maybe you even need to step out of the fanclub for awhile if that will help you...
just think about what you want and how you can find happiness again...

If you need any help I will be here if you need me...

love, Inge
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PostSubject: Re: In love with Tarkan?   Thu Jan 29, 2009 3:47 pm

Oh God...I hate this.
I do have a problem...I'm aware. Sad I'm guilty for this.
You are right. I should go out,I should read a book, go see a movie, I don't know...do other things besides staying home and watch him...but I JUST CAN'T.

When I've read what you written up there I reconized myself in youre lines. God I know is emberesing but...like a stupid emotional girl that I am, my eyes watered. I'm one of those girls who just don't have a real life. I live in a world that I created it myself Sad Sometimes I wish I've never knew who is he...

I'm so stupid ..A month ago I started to learn the turkish language...like that will help me in some way. Now I started to draw him... Sad Everything that I do has something to do with him.
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Inge
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PostSubject: Re: In love with Tarkan?   Thu Jan 29, 2009 4:13 pm

NOOOO!!! Dont start drawing!!!!!
Oh for Gods sake that will make it ten times worse, dont draw!!!

Look at me...I made like thirty portraits and spent hours and hours on drawing his face until I knew every freaking detail and I could make him look so perfect...and I grew addicted to the drawings. I fell in love with my own drawings....
So Tarkan told me to stop drawing him, he said it was making me sick. So you must really stop making drawings when you are already obsessed...its really not good, dont do it...

But please relax a bit...it is good that you know you have a problem. You are not in denial.
You know that you must help yourself. So that is good, that is step one. You realise this.
Dont be angry with yourself, there is no need for that. You are not stupid, just a bit lost...it can happen to anyone...

But you are going to make a change right? Your life will be better, you will make it better yourself. Of course you can do it. Just make yourself do it, if not for yourself, then do it for Tarkan because, he doesnt want his fans to be unhapy over him. He said it so many times, He wants to make people happy with his music. he doesnt want girls to be all depressed and hopelessly obsessed with him. It should be fun, not an addiction...

If your life has no meaning now, you must give it meaning. You must make your own life and start with small changes....baby steps...its not gonna cange in one day but maybe in a few months...

Just take a break from Tarkan...find yourself again, help yourself, you are worth it!

here is my video...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7WkcLSrvT4

love, Inge
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PostSubject: Re: In love with Tarkan?   Thu Jan 29, 2009 4:25 pm

I've watched that video of yours before. Beautifulll....
I love those deawings that you made...I just love them.
I know that even if I'll say that I'll try to take a break...I wont watch him anymore..I won't draw him anymore...I wont (I know myself)
Now ...you're an expert...tell me what do you think about my drawings Embarassed

http://tarkanunited.to-relax.net/photoshoot-album-f35/tarkan-drawing-t405.htm
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PostSubject: Re: In love with Tarkan?   Thu Jan 29, 2009 4:34 pm

wow!!!!!!! I just logged in and what I see?- a huge discussion on one of the most delicate topics ever!!!!
Well, Inge, I knew your story for a long time now, read it on Ali's then blog...I was shocked to be honest, I thought it was some made up story, but after I joined TarkanClub I knew it wasn't just a story Smile it was REAL!
You know what other treatment I know (this is for all of you girls!)....go out more often with your friends! and go to places where you can see handsome guys Smile
You know, I can fall in love (I guess) easily! just like a finger snap, but then the next day my love is gone lol...some of myfriends are laughing at me, cuz I have this problem- I can't love someone fo real and for long, I get bored easily and then I just forget those people and when they come back in to my life again its like "ammm...that's a nice weather out thre LOL"

About Tarkan...again

the other treatment couldbe something like working out in gym....try to fall in love with yur own look, your body, concentrate on it...
I think a big problem is that you spend all your attenton on someone else and you are not receiving it back and it just soaks the whole energy and life out of yourself! But when you turn it otherway- it's like your own medication. (do you guys nderstand what I'm saying here? Smile)

Oh, and about my very first post u there...I was talking about Went Miller right? Well, now it's Josh Holloway Very Happy hahahaha....

Anyway, so my solution is- become more egoistic and your obsession will disappear..I guess Smile

Love, Olya

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Olya
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PostSubject: Re: In love with Tarkan?   Thu Jan 29, 2009 4:35 pm

mjdiva wrote:
I've watched that video of yours before. Beautifulll....
I love those deawings that you made...I just love them.
I know that even if I'll say that I'll try to take a break...I wont watch him anymore..I won't draw him anymore...I wont (I know myself)
Now ...you're an expert...tell me what do you think about my drawings Embarassed

http://tarkanunited.to-relax.net/photoshoot-album-f35/tarkan-drawing-t405.htm
girl!you put too much of your heart in it!!!! that's what I think! you need sme to have on your own! LOL Smile

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Inge
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PostSubject: Re: In love with Tarkan?   Thu Jan 29, 2009 4:43 pm

Yes I saw your drawings, they are very good. You can see that you spent time on capturing his look and you spent time on the shape of his mouth, his nose etcetera. Its beautiful but also very dangerous to do this while you are obsessed...because, you spend a lot of ime just you and Tarkan and making him look perfect and its really not good to do this...
So if you want to draw, draw other people Smile Youre really talented.
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PostSubject: Re: In love with Tarkan?   Thu Jan 29, 2009 4:45 pm

haha! or draw him ugly and then look at it Very Happy

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PostSubject: Re: In love with Tarkan?   Thu Jan 29, 2009 5:05 pm

oh I did that, it doesnt work Smile
I even liked the ugly ones hahahaha
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PostSubject: Re: In love with Tarkan?   Thu Jan 29, 2009 5:08 pm

Inge wrote:
oh I did that, it doesnt work Smile
I even liked the ugly ones hahahaha

oh!!!!!! you know what! Once I heard on some TV show that some fan-girl was drawing her idol with her (ready?)- menstrual blood!!!!!!! she said it was some ritual she knew that would "attach" him to her Shocked


in your case, Inge, I would just draw an ugly one and pee on it lol (joking!) lol!

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PostSubject: Re: In love with Tarkan?   Thu Jan 29, 2009 5:11 pm

OMG Smile
I couldn't do that ..pee on tark'???
Smile never Laughing
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PostSubject: Re: In love with Tarkan?   Thu Jan 29, 2009 5:13 pm

not on him personally! Very Happy...gosh, I thnk I talk too much Smile)))

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PostSubject: Re: In love with Tarkan?   Thu Jan 29, 2009 5:15 pm

oohhh Olya fascinating story...it is easy I suppose if you use a tampax for a crayon...that is how I would do it hahahahahaha!!!
Hey but MJdiva, what if he asks you to pee on him? What if he actually likes it? Hahahahaaaa!!
Just try it, grab one of your posters, put it in the toilet and pee all over him...
thats good therapy!!! Smile
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PostSubject: Re: In love with Tarkan?   Thu Jan 29, 2009 5:18 pm

I know... Smile on the drawing ...I got the idea Suspect
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PostSubject: Re: In love with Tarkan?   Thu Jan 29, 2009 5:18 pm

aaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahaha!!!!!! I think I should lock this topic for ladies only Very Happy this is disguisting Very Happy poor males who rea it!

but yeah, I think I heard in some tribes in Africa they either pee, either spit on each other lol...yew... lol

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